The Paradox of our Age

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We have bigger houses but smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;

We have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgement;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicines, but less healthiness;

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet
the new neighbor.

We build more computers to hold more
information to produce more copies then ever,
but have less communication;

We have become long on quantity,
but short on quality.

These are times of fast foods
but slow digestion;
Tall men but short character;
Steep profits but shallow relationships.

It’s a time when there is much in the window,
but nothing in the room.

- The 14th Dalai Lama

Meta-Value, The lesson I learned this month

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Thanks to the wonderful Simone M., I have been reflecting on the value of being wrong:

Video: On Being Wrong (Ted Talks)

Recently, I was caught not only being wrong, but learning a lesson in the process – the value of being wrong. :-)  In this process, I was teasing one of my colleagues on the use of the term “meta-value”… but come to find out, I simply hadn’t reflected on this marvelous concept.

Meta-Value, as it turns out, is a very beautiful amalgamation of several un-like items to create something new entirely. [start plagiarism now]

To define meta-value, let’s talk about what it isn’t. We all know what “synergy” is – it’s this idea that 1+1=3, not 2. The beauty of team work is that when two complimentary people work together, their effort is greater than the sum of their individual efforts. If I can dig a hole in 2 hours, and you can dig a hole in 2 hours -> we dont dig the hole together in 1 hour, rather – we complete the dig in 30-45 min. When two people work together, they prevent each other from getting stuck on minor problems, and propel each other forward in the effort.

Meta-value is something more entirely. We all remember high-school chemistry where you can combine the gas Hydrogen and the gas Oxygen, and somehow combine them – you get something new entierly: this emergent property of “wet“. It’s far different from anything that exists in either Hydrogen or Oxygen. Neither of those are “wet”. But when you put them together in the right combination, you create that water molecule; you get what we call an emergency quality with meta-value: “wet”. [end plagiarism]

 

Begin Relevance: 

For the entirety of my life, I was under the impression that I was on a predictable linear path towards a defined end-goal. I would go to Nationals in Debate, Win State in Soccer, Go to an Ivy League College (or something of the like), Graduate with Honors, Take a Prestigious Job (that I climb the ladder quickly in), Marry a Beautiful Blonde,  and then Retire at the brisk age of 35 to begin my Altruistic Path of Creating a Better World with all of my money. (if that day-dream list was not nauseating enough, I even capitalized each of the “achievements” in just as they were in my head, haha)

Predictably, this has not been my path. I failed to even qualify for state debate my senior year, I was given a red-card in the soccer quarterfinals, I have attended 5 different colleges now (and still do not have a diploma), and I am dating a beautiful brunette that I would have never imagined myself with 5 years ago.

At the end of the day though, I wouldnt trade it for anything. You see, I though my life would be a synergistic self-propelled effort where every accomplishment would only more greatly propel me towards my success than the last. Think of a snowball of success and money… traveling down Mt. Everest…. now imagine it landing in a hot pig-farm. :-)

As it turns out, the success of my life has been a lot more about the creation of my own, intrinsic meta-value than about be conquering the world. Through a variety of unexpected, unlike failures and successes - I have somehow been made into the man I am today. Right now, I have an amazing job as the Director of Software and IT for my company. The funny part is: I swore I would never take a job in the website/computer industry, and yet somehow, I have been perfectly prepared for my path:

  • When I was 7 years old, I use to argue with my teachers endlessly about them making me learn how to touch type. I was convinced I would never need it. Now, returning 30 emails a day, and typing up weekly Executive Summaries, I couldn’t be more appreciative for being wrong.
  • From the age of 11-21, I mowed 25-65 acres/week. I though it was the most pointless waste of my time – and yet, patience and repetition is something I greatly needed to learn and something I am continuing to work on even to this day.
  • When I lost in Debate and in Soccer, I learned two very important lessons: never give-up, and leaving it on the field (even if you lose the game) is more important than winning.
  • Thorough my college experience, I have had three different majors: Mechanical/Computer Science Engineering, Political & Christian Though, and MIS/Entrepreneurship. Today, I find myself working with the development of software and hardware, managing a variety of different people with different behaviors every day, and starting my own company who’s next venture is cloud related (which is very similar to the MIS program).  Even though I have attended 5 different colleges – in my job today, I have needed each and every one of them to prepare me for where I am now.

My life is becoming the articulation of Meta-Value: the combination of un-like events, successes and failures to produce something with an entirely new unit of value. I would have never predicted this combination, and knowing what I know now, I would not have changed any of my earlier decisions.

This month it is becoming very clear to me that there is as much value to being wrong as there is to being right. Both my successes and failures have played a part in forming me in who I am today. This is the message I receive when I think of Meta-Value, Being Wrong, and the scripture Isaiah 42:16:

“I will lead the blind by a way they do not know,
In paths they do not know I will guide them.
I will make darkness into light before them
And rugged places into plains.
These are the things I will do,
And I will not leave them undone.”

It seems that no matter my decisions or discoveries, my soul is bound on this pre-destined path to improve both myself and the world around me. I suppose it is about time for me to hang-up my playbook, and sink into the grace of God. There is a day-to-day, functional trust that needs to be developed in my mind, that will allow me to relax in knowing everything will always work out the way it should, and to maintain that perspective while still working on all the right things in life, instead of running towards every new problem, or worst yet – away from them.

October is the month of peace for my life. It is about time to trust in the day-to-day preservation of good instead of trying to project-manage my life for myself, my family, or for God.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day. :-)


Random Thoughts of People Our Age

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From: http://www.bangitout.com/articles/viewarticle.php?a=2874

1.     I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
2.     More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3.     Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
4.     I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
5.     Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
6.     I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
7.     The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.
8.     Do you remember when you were a kid playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
9.     There is a great need for sarcasm font.
10. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fck was going on when I first saw it.
11. I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
12. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
13. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
14. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
16. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
17. Was learning cursive really necessary?
18. Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
19. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
20. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
21. Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
22. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
23. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)…ummm…Goonies”
24. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
25. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
26. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
27. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
28. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
29. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
30. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
31. Bad decisions make good stories
32. Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
33. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
34. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
35. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
36. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
37. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
38. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to fall after leaning your chair back a little too far.
39. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
40. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
41. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
42. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
43. When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
44. I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
45. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
46. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
47. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
48. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
49. I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.
50. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
51. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
52. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
53. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
54. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than with Kay.
55. The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Just because

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I strive daily to be a better person, in one way or another. Some days I accomplish less, some days I accomplish more. At the end of the day though, I dont believe I have ever done this for another person. I have never felt lead to do better, or be better for someone else. Not for a family member, for a girlfriend, for anyone. I’m not sure why this is.

Throughout life, I’ve always strived to be better “just because”… because something in me tells me I should be. Some part of me encourages me daily to strive for excellence, to not accept the status-quo, to keep pushing when people stop.

I have God, my family, and some great teachers along the way to thank for this.

I couldnt imagine pushing myself this hard for someone else. Apparently this is not a normal perspective. It does explain a lot.

Interesting.

Winding Back

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I’m going to attempt the impossible:

For the rest of this week, I am going to work an 8am-5pm workday. Yes, I know I’m crazy… but this 9-7 is annoying.

Let’s go.

*****************

End of week update: EPIC FAIL. hahaha.

Strange Dreams

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I am a fickle character… always having strange dreams…. always wanting to improve myself… always working on some project or trying to fix something.

Dont get me wrong, if life wasnt like this I would be bored out of mind…. still, there are things in my life I want that I dont have. Very simple things.

All in all though, life is going very well for me. In fact, I would say things are quite perfect :-)

Old habits are hard to break. Ugh, I need to stop pulling on my hair… nasty stress habit…. going to caused the death of my hair, haha.

Ive said this before… but I really wish I had a personal chef. That would be awesome, haha.

Okay, bye bye.

Advanced Blogging

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I think I would blog more if I knew there were people reading this… specifically open minded people who would actually respond. In a way, I am glad that people dont really comment… it lets me pretend I am the only person who reads this blog… and thus be more open…. though, at times, like the hiatus I have been on the last few months… it makes me prioritize this thing quite low.

So here is my mind dump for this evening…. (hurry, click away, click away…. go here… that should distract you)

  • I have decided to accept my life as it is, enjoy it, and make the most out of it.
  • I wish I could go back to around Sophomore/Junior year in highschool and get myself to chill the F out… seriously, I was way too high strung.
  • I wish I could have understood grace better, sooner…
  • I dislike when people make excuses for their actions… or even worse, lie about things. I respect people who own up to their worst a lot more.
  • I think I have undersold myself for most of my life. That is changing now.
  • At some point I am going to have to sell my Tahoe…. I will miss that vehicle.
  • If I had a personal chef, I am certain my productivity would increase by at least 45% during the day.
  • I feel better now that I ever have in my life.
  • I find speaking to be more challenging than it once was. While I understand people and conversations more now than I use  to… I often have difficulty with word selection… maybe I should read more books.
  • As my sister once told me: “Just because there’s a goalie, doesnt mean you cant score”… haha. A wedding band is where I draw the line. Luckily I havent had to draw that line.
  • I dont think I could ever date the sister of someone I knew or was friends with… too often they look like their siblings and that is just weird…. especially when their sibling is a guy.
  • I have long been attracted to Kate Beckinsale and Anne Hathaway. Well, now Kate is married and Anne is kind of a pansy. I think I’m going to switch to Charlize Theron. Mostly because of the movie Æon Flux :-)
  • I’ve decided to stop trying to “balance” my body’s development while working out. I am just going to work everything as hard as I can and let God and his design sort out how my body turns out. hahaha.
  • I dont normally work at the same job for this long. It is strange that I have been working full time now for over 6 months…. very interesting.
  • I really wish I could wake up earlier and feel fully rested. I probably should stop blogging now and go to sleep. :-)

Hope you life is going as well as mine.

Enjoy the sun.

Resume

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My skills/experiences/certifications:

  1. Flying/landing a plane
  2. Driving a dirt-bike/motocross
  3. Driving a street-bike
  4. Riding a street bicycle
  5. Riding a mountain bike
  6. Driving a muscle car, exotic sports cars, large van, truck, SUV, dune-buggy, etc… manual and automatic.
  7. Driving/using large tractor (way too many hours, haha)
  8. Driving/docking/navigating a 4,000 sq/ft yacht
  9. Driving a ski-boat
  10. Driving a turbo-charged seadoo
  11. Certified to SCUBA dive
  12. Licensed to carry a concealed weapon
  13. Studied Mechanical and Computer Science Engineering (several years)
  14. Studied Philosophy, Political Though, Christian thought (several years)
  15. Studied Entrepreneurship and Managment of Information Systems (several years)
  16. Member of Various National Honor Societies
  17. Member of Sigma Chi Fraternity, Beta Kappa Chapter
  18. Worked as a Book Publisher
  19. Worked as Event Coordinator/Planner
  20. Worked as a High School Teacher
  21. Worked as a full-time arborist (cutting and clearing trees)
  22. Maintained 60 acres of grass/fields
  23. Built and designed several professional and academic websites
  24. Served as IT consultant for Law Firm
  25. Managed IT buildout of multiple businesses in Tulsa
  26. Traveled to 20+ countries
  27. Had some form of conversations in 4 different languages
  28. Driven on the autobahn :-)
  29. Had enough serious relationships to know who I am, what I want, and what to stay the hell away from, haha
  30. Raised cats and dogs, comfortable with both.
  31. Had enough arguments and conversations to know how to cut past 90% of the b.s.
  32. Attended 5 different colleges, each with a specific purpose.
  33. Driven from Tulsa to NYC… by way of Pittsburgh, haha.
  34. Snow skied double-black diamond and Extreme Terrane in Colorado (think 10ft. drop to start the run).
  35. Water skied and knee-boarded
  36. Snorkeled in various oceans
  37. Been bitten by fish, crab, and stung by jelly fish
  38. Swam with a Hammerhead shark (not by choice)
  39. Swam with Sting Rays and Electric Eels (by choice)
  40. Free dived (dove) to 30-40ft beneath the surface without air
  41. Been pulled under by a 15ft wave, ripped through 10-20ft boulders and delivered back to the beach by the hand of God.
  42. Been involved in two high-speed car accidents, both as a passenger and both in different Honda Accords…. not even a bruise from either occurrence.
  43. Sorted cattle
  44. Shot/killed/cleaned various animals
  45. Built a tree-house
  46. Built a bed
  47. Been to church (protestant) as well as Catholic Mass
  48. Can cook various types of food: pasta, chicken, steak, seafood, etc.
  49. Can program in 5+ different languages
  50. Can spend and extended amount of time camping
  51. Can/Have painted various rooms and pieces of furniture
  52. Can rebuild a car (have already rebuilt a 65 and a 66 Chevelle, as well as a 77 Trans Am)
  53. Built a Computer by hand (from parts)
  54. Can/Have patched a wall
  55. Can whistle fluently (using several methods)
  56. Can hear/feel the Spirit of God.

Things I have not done:

  1. Bungee Jumped
  2. Sky-dived (out of an airplane)
  3. Danced (excluding musicals and minor ballroom experiences)
  4. Gone Rock-climbing (with actual gear and rope on a real rock, not a training wall)
  5. Piloted a Jet
  6. Been black-out drunk (as in not in control or forgetting any of the night before)
  7. Been to Australia or Asia
  8. Graduated from a University
  9. Owned a house
  10. Had children
  11. Meet/Found the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with

Good Thoughts for Today

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“It’s not enough to have a dream unless I’m willing to pursue it. It’s not enough to know what’s right unless I’m strong enough to do it. It’s not enough to join the crowd, to be acknowledged and accepted. I must be true to my ideals, even if I’m excluded and rejected. It’s not enough to learn the truth unless I also learn to live it. It’s not enough to reach for love unless I care enough to give it.”