“As I approach the gates of heaven;
to St. Peter I will tell;
One more soldier reporting sir;
I’ve served my time in hell”.
-Mark Anthony Gresswell

“The difference between ‘involvement’ and ‘commitment’ is like
an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was ‘involved’ - the pig
was’committed’.”

Central to the Christian experience is the art of questioning God. Not belligerent, arrogant questions that have no respect for our maker, but naked, honest, vulnerable, raw questions, arising out of the awe that comes from engaging the living God.
This type of questioning frees us. Frees us from having to have it all figured out. Frees us from having answers to everything. Frees us from always having to be right. It allows us to have moments when we come to the end of our ability to comprehend. Moments when the silence is enough.

–Rob Bell

The general lack of passion I see in others for life and accomplishment is draining… Why don’t people care more? Why are people, in general, so lazy?

I understand everyone interfaces life differently, but I don’t think it is too much for me to ask that people would care and devote themselves to what ever task is occupying their life…

I mean, come on. You only live once.

From Training Day:

“To be truely effective, a narcotics officer needs to know and love narcotics”

All that passing laws against sin did was produce more lawbreakers. But sin didn’t, and doesn’t, have a chance in competition with the aggressive forgiveness we call grace. When it’s sin versus grace, grace wins hands down. All sin can do is threaten us with death, and that’s the end of it. Grace, because God is putting everything together again through the Messiah, invites us into life—a life that goes on and on and on, world without end. (Rom 5:20-21)

“Affliction is the wholesome soil of virtue, where patience, honor, sweet humility, and calm fortitude, take root and strongly flourish”

-David Mallet

Somehow, after several long talks with my father… a many frustrating experiences with my pledge class… and way too many long hours singing and dancing in public…. it just clicked.

I’m not totally sure how it happened. All I do know is that my Big, my father, and God had a substantial impact on my life over the last week. Specifically… how I am viewing Sigma Chi.

For a while there, I believe I saw it as a challenge… or even as some objective body that held supposed high standards that I was wishing to one day be a part of. To a large extent, Sigma Chi was simply a proposition of a given value system… another book for the reading, measuring, and acceptance or rejection. At times, I was frustrated at the apparent hypocrisy. Then, I would spend time delighted in the opportunity. And always, I found myself just simply annoyed by the lack of maturity around me (both on the part of the brothers as well as my fellow pledges)

But that was then, and this is now, so onward with my point… Some time over the last week or two, I actually began to radically care about this fraternity and everything that it represents. Before, I could say that I cared about the values that Sigma Chi promoted… but it was the values first, and Sigma Chi second. Now, a place in my heart has latched hold of what the body of Sigma Chi is… and some crazy things are starting to happen. Specifically, now that the values and joys that I have held so long now have a physical manifestation… I am finding myself defending and protecting them with great zeal. Where I once remained timid and accepting of the lukewarm nature towards Sigma Chi found well permeated throughout my pledge class… I now only find my passion radically conflicting with anything less than a zeal for what Sigma Chi is, and what Sigma Chi could be.

Now, much more than before, I actually CARE about Sigma Chi… for better or worse, this is something that I crave. At random times, I find myself just reading and re-reading my pledge book… just trying to soak in what Sigma Chi is… or just walking the halls trying to soak everything in…Today, I found myself cleaning the house and repairing equipment not because a brother asked me to… but because it is something that I wanted to do, to help my potential house look and operate better.

It is weird how life happens… It is nice to finally have something that I really value passionately… that I can actually see and touch and make a difference in. Now if I could just get others to feel the way that I do, life would be grand, hahaha.

Okay, seriously, sleep is more imporant that blogging… so, goodnight.

And somehow pledgeship just became a lot easier… while apparently becoming a whole lot harder.

Add in a dash of Romans 5, specifically the part that says, “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us…”

Take it to heart… Letting the challenges purify and grow me instead of just enduring them… and suddenly, I am just full of joy all the time… and moreover, I am certain it is the joy from hope in God, because honestly, there is no reason why I should be so happy or have so much energy all the time.

Today was a good day, and tomorrow will be even better. At this point, struggles only make me happier… as they are just more for me and my pledge brothers to overcome…. and at some point we will be able to turn around and say: “we’ve done the impossible, and that makes us mighty”.

It is amazing how much you can learn by watching people screw you over… prime example: driving.

I have learned so much about traffic courtesy simply by having people pull over on me and nearly hit me at the most bizarre times…

I suppose this principle applies to other areas of life. If you are willing to learn, some of your best lessons can come from what may seem like life’s worst teachers…. Today I am thankful for all the crazy people out there on the road whos driver’s licenses should have been revoked years ago…. you, friends, have made me a better driver.